I will be
by GreenField
Summary: The beginning of Elphaba and Glinda's friendship in Elphaba's POV, set during 'Dancing Through Life' and 'Popular'. Cover image by kdm13 DeviantArt .


I had never had a present given to me before - no-one had ever liked me enough to treat me to something. But here I was, with the girl I loathed, handing over my first proper present.

"Come on! It's really-er- sharp, don't you think?" Galinda says sweetly. I shrug, not really knowing whether it really is 'sharp' or not.

"It is! I mean, you know black is this years pink?"

I didn't, actually.

"But you deserve each other, this hat and you! You're both so…smart!"

The last time I checked, hats didn't have brains. But I'll take her word for it.

"You deserve each other, so here, out of the goodness of my heart" she holds the black pointed hat out towards me and I take it nervously, worried that this is all some stupid joke and the hat will explode in my face. What a thought. Galinda smiles, triumphant, and dashes off, her short blonde curls swinging wildly across her swan like neck. I stand frozen, debating. I mean, when I heard from Nessa that that idiotic 'prince' is throwing a party, I already decided not to go. But now…I mean, I have a hat, I just need to find a dress….and it might make them include me a bit more…Galinda said how fashionable the hat is. Maybe I'll have a new name that isn't 'artichoke'.

I go up to our room to find that Galinda has taken her best dress from the wardrobe and gone to change with her friends. I don't mind - but I thought she would stay, now that we seem to have formed a truce. Oh well. She might like me even more when she finds out that I got her a training wand from Madame Morrible.

_Is that all your life is, Elphaba? _My mind taunts, _Ifs and buts and might's and maybes. You're different. It won't work._

Deep down I know that my mind is right. There is no way I'll ever be accepted. I will always be the outcast, the oddity, the rebel. The only one that trusts her instincts.

*****

I gulp and stand there, stuck on the steps like a statue. I wish I was a statue. At least I wouldn't feel the humiliation that I feel now.

Their laughter echoes, amplified by the acoustics in the huge ballroom. I can hear them all, all my classmates, all the people that I will have to spend the rest of my school days with. I was stupid, so, so stupid, to think that they could ever change their opinion of me. Stupid to think that Galinda was actually being nice. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I raise my head high, as I have had to do so many times, and step down onto the centre of the gleaming ballroom floor. They do not cease their laughter. I spot Nessa, flushed beetroot with embarrassment, hiding behind her glass of punch. Boq stands beside her, his lip twitching with the effort of not laughing at me, but his calmness is broken when I begin to dance.

I have no idea what I am doing. Each move I make is more and more painful for me, each time I windmill my arms, roll over my hands and do a bending twirl, repeating the sequence over and over, the laughter gets louder.

My cast down eyes spot a pair of small feet, strapped into pink plastic stilettos, with sparkling pink painted toenails. The owner of the feet comes to a halt beside me. I straighten up, to begin my sequence again without shame, and spot Galinda. Our eyes lock, hers blue, mine brown, the beauty and the beast, and the corner of her plump pink lips quirk up into a smile. I gape at her, surprised, and for a moment I have stopped the routine. Her eyes widen, motioning for me to carry on, and I do as she asks. No-one is laughing anymore. Slowly, the floor is crowded again. People join in. Fiyero, the buffoon of a prince, joins the two of us in the centre, as Galinda's date, and I notice with alarm that he is almost shockingly handsome. He is beautiful. I push the thought away.

We dance until it is light. Our friendship is almost a done deal.

*****

I watch Galinda twirl, surprised at how much she amuses me. She is lithe and energetic, her hair bouncing, her skirts spinning. She laughs and sings, exhilarated. I would join her, if I wasn't so worried about what she is proposing. Popular. Me? Never.

Galinda pauses, smiling. I have already had the lecture on how to toss my hair, and apparently I need practise. I'm never going to do it anyway, except maybe for Fiyero…no, Elphaba, stop it.

"Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you…you're beautiful!" Galinda squeals, holding up her hand mirror for me to look at my reflection. It takes me a while to see past the green blur of my skin, but when my eyes adjust (she has taken my glasses away) I spot the pink flower that has been transferred from her hair to mine, which is now brushed loose and glowing in a way I never knew it could. I feel beautiful, until I realise that she has basically tricked me into thinking this with her eager statement. I shake the thought away.

"I have to go" I cry, rushing from the room. I hear her stunned answer of;

"You're welcome"

Before she starts singing once more.

I like her, I think, but I will never be beautiful. I will never be pretty and lithe and blonde with a wonderfully blithe smile. I will never having gently curling golden hair. It is foolish to wish, and it is foolish to pretend. Yet I know that what I feel deep down is that I must be beautiful, I must be perfect, if not for me then for my new friend.

If not for me, then for the man that I have coincidentally fallen for.

As long as I have Galinda to help me, I can find my way.

I will be perfect. I will be loved. I will be _good_.

Even if it kills me.


End file.
